Vanilla-Xtract

Master,

Sometimes You ask me what i need from You and i find it hard to articulate it. Mostly because i get what i need and i am happy. But days like today when my mood is low, when i feel unwell or even just down (hormones or whatever!) then i need to feel close somehow. It gives me a great deal of comfort knowing You’re there even if asleep – so like now, when i am in pain i can just feel You close (even though am looking at Your back! lol). It’s comforting for me, i guess it’s the closest thing to being able to snuggle up.

And even when i pop off and do some chores or manage to rest, i come back or wake up and see You and it feels so re-assuring Master.

The pain was bad today, it’s still there although not nearly as bad. No-one has ever calmed me as much as You seem able to, it’s amazing. Thank You for all that You do and provide for me Master. Awwww You just yawned in Your sleep and fussed, soo cute! I love it.

I don’t need the camera all the time, just hearing You snore is more than enough – well actually today it was hearing You laugh in Your sleep. It was wonderful, You laughed so loud and so long it made me jump! Would love to know what the joke was

I love You more and more.

From My slave, April 22, 2009

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/// © Master Zoomer
/// “Would Love to Know what the Joke Was”
/// June 14, 2010
///

Written by My slave, 5 July 2009

She felt an urge to write again, funny but the desire isn’t there every day, but perhaps the more she does the more she will have a need to?! Also interesting that even though she is feeling unwell somehow the writing helps focus her, makes her feel better.

Master has been wonderful, oh gosh way way more than that, so many adjectives to describe Him! During her illness she feels Him close, feels His re-assurance and His love and his care. Master always makes her feel better just by His presence, He gives her great strength and she is grateful to Him for that. Sometimes she wishes she had the vocabulary and grammar to adequately describe just how powerful her feelings are for her Master. The point she is trying to make is that love is almost too difficult to verbalise. Its an emotion, a feeling, deep within oneself. All she now knows is that He is the centre of everything, He means the world to her, she worships and loves Him with a deep intensity and it just gets stronger and stronger. All of this is possible because of Him. Because of how He is. A Master who had the capacity to make her need and want to be more and more submissive, He drew something out of her, something that had always been there, He awakened that and this girl fell in love with Him. In doing so, HE has changed her life completely, never has she felt so good or positive about herself, she is completely happy.

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In a distant part of her slave consciousness she is aware that her pussy is reacting constantly with an ache and longing and is already wet, She makes a low slow moan, closing her eyes for a brief second then refocusing she stares intently at the screen finding it hard to take her eyes of the small brass key dangling from the jumble of keys in front of her. The key to the slave’s collar is held between Master’s thumb and forefinger. It’s hard not to look, this is what connects her to Him, it’s what marks her as being owned as His property. Well, maybe not the key but the key is held by Him and is a symbol of the power and the only thing that can unlock the collar around the slave’s neck. She glances towards Master and smiles whilst at the same time her fingers imperceptibly creep to her collar and curl around it, she’s barely aware of the gesture but He is and He smiles in acknowledgment of the gesture.

“What are you slave?” His voice low and powerful – it pulls her out of her trance

“Your property Master”

“And what else, what does that mean?”

“It means, i am owned by You Master and Yours to do with as You wish” she looks into his eyes, moaning as she pauses briefly wanting desperately to touch her wet pussy “Yours to use, the collar is a representation of Your ownership, to show people that this slave is owned and is property of Master and the collar should not be removed.”

He smiles in acknowledgment “Good girl”.

Written by My slave, 10 April 2010.

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/// © Master Zoomer
/// “The Key”
/// June 12, 2010
///

Enjoy “sustenance” also.

This email was sent by My slave 13 July, 2009.

Master,

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I challenged myself to carry My slave into subspace and back again. I didn’t hold anything back, and I had a commitment to the intensity of my delivery and the content of what I said to her. I didn’t record the words that I said, but the beauty of how my words impacted her have been recorded here. I challenged her. I spoke to her as a Master should. I took her into subspace over the phone. She listened, she absorbed, she flew. Then I pulled her back and told her to write about her experience. You can understand what I said by reading her response. You can feel her emotions, and her growth.

The following is the unedited email from My slave, 12 July 2009:

Master,

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My slave is such a good girl. I’ve had nothing but a wonderful experience training her. She’s very receptive to anything I teach, and it sometimes is a challenge to stay two or three steps ahead of her. These days, I search for challenges. But when we met, I had already learned many things from my exploration of the world of BDSM or D/s. In particular, I was fascinated with how I felt when the slave would speak of herself in the third person. Of the many things I found to be arousing, I knew that this was something that would be a reminder of her position as a slave/sub, and my own as a Master/Dom. And it was something that she could be trained to do. I wanted her to do this all the time, but more importantly, I wanted her to do this naturally, without thinking. It would create a mindset, and I would know whether or not she was in “slave mode” just by listening to her. It was a speech protocol that could be used to measure her sense of submission to me at any given moment. I never reprimanded her for lack of use. Instead, I told her how arousing it is to me. I suggested that it might be arousing to her as well. She was surprised to hear this, when first introduced to the concept.

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Here is her unedited email to Me from July 7, 2009:

Caring, love, tenderness, warmth, compassion – all words that perhaps those in the vanilla world wouldn’t necessarily attribute to a BDSM lifestyle. They think it’s all about whips, ropes, hard fucking and so on. Well, yes, just because a slave and Master thrive on some of that and perhaps more does not mean that such a relationship is devoid of the capacity to empathise and care. This girl’s experience is that the relationship with her Master is a complex one but at the very heart of it is pure love.

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Here’s what we have wondered, since we’ve not been together yet…

How will she respond when I tell her to do something extreme in an ordinary context? How will I hold myself as her Master? Will I dare to give her those instructions?

We fantasize about meeting at the airport. I imagine her arrival exactly like I wrote in “Descent.” What follows that is her arrival at the gate, exiting the plane, and looking for me amongst the herd of other waiting friends and family. Finding me, she falls to her knees. But when? Will there be space for her to do this? Will she potentially be trampled? These are things I consider. But after I’ve moved with her to an open area, yet still within the public meeting area, I don’t need to worry about trampling or crowding. Instead, I wonder what might be going on in my own head. I might just smother her in hugs and kisses like all the nillas always do. Will I be able to feel my mastery in person during our first moments together, and subsequently act upon those feelings?

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Dom Depot is where you get that good kinky industrial stuff. Costco is not so erotic. However, today was a special day for the warehouse grocery store, as your Master has found something special to buy. I want to be prepared for when you arrive, and previously had not found a cushion appropriate for you to have at the house, but I now have the perfect one. I wanted to pack it up and leave it in the garage for safe keeping, so I put it there right from the car and went to the house for a protective bag to pack it in.

Can something so benign be erotic with its handling? I feel that this cushion might be such a thing. It’s material will caress your bare skin, it’s contents will cradle your body. It’s design will make kneeling easier on your knees, and it’s padding will help the duration. With joy I purchased it, and with joy I cared for it, as I would care for the treatment of your very skin.

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She kneels on her bed, with the computer propped up on the nightstand for me to see her. I tell her to tip the camera down farther so I can see the naked curve of her ass when she puts it in the air for me as she kneels. She puts her face into the mattress and I can see her spine curve up to her tailbone where her ass forms a heart shape.

She needs this. She needs to kneel to me like this because we have been apart for too long to wait until she is with me again. For her, kneeling is sustenance, it’s nourishment, it’s energy. She can’t go more than one day without imagining she’s at my feet worshiping me, her Master. She would be at my feet, kneeling in person if we weren’t an ocean and continent apart from each other right now.

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I could never attempt to describe how she feels about me as her Master. But as her Master I can demand that she tells me how she feels and I can insist that she do it in writing. The collar I ordered was just days away from reaching her, and I assigned her to write to me about her submission. There are many things that I know about her that she doesn’t realize for herself, and this writing assignment was to bring it all to the front of her mind, to create something that would record how she was feeling at the time.

I knew that this was what she needed to fully know how she felt inside. She needed to hear herself speak about it in her own words. She had already emotionally submitted to me in so many ways, and I knew it. The physical distance between us I refused to allow to hinder her growth or my own. The writing assignment I knew was a milestone and it was one that we could both treasure reading in the future. But it’s primary purpose was to get her to reveal to me, and in turn, herself, the feelings that she had about her position as my slave, and having me as her Master.

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It’s a necessary annoyance.  She had the steel ring in her duffel under the seat in front of her. She touched her neck mindlessly as she stared at the black bag next to her feet, as if trying to see through the canvas at her precious Turian collar. One of the saddest things to do was to remove the collar before going through airport security. She tucked it in her bag, and clutched it tightly through the turnstile and didn’t loosen her grasp until she found her seat on the plane. Now her eyes had a virtual grasp of the collar, though it was out of plain sight. Her fingers rubbed high on her shoulder where the heavy metal usually touched her neck, wrapping securely there. Annoyance, indeed.

She wouldn’t see the collar again until Los Angeles.  The trip from England was pleasant, but long. It was as if time slowed down. Please, please, how fast does this plane go? She yearned for the descent to begin, when she could count down by minutes to the moment she would see her Master for the first time. Until then, it was a countdown by hours. Hours passed like days. Pleasant, but long. She stared at the bag by her feet.

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I just got an idea for how I’m going to treat you when you’re here.

There are times when I need to chill, or think, or do something that might look like I don’t want you around.  Sad? Not at all. Look at it this way: I am very comfortable keeping your cam up while you sleep, because it’s peaceful to watch you like that. It calms me.  When you get here in July, I will enjoy you for every moment that I get to have you with me. That means always.  I don’t have a desire to do anything without you. However, there are things I do alone when you’re there, like chill or think or write, or something. And the same goes for when you’re here.

What will I do with you when it’s time for me to have my alone time?  I will put you in the cage, wherever it is. It’s a foldable cage, large enough inside to sit or lie down. This makes it easy for it to be carried and moved to anywhere in the house where there’s room.  The best example I can think of is right here in the living room.  I am drafting this piece of writing right now from my couch. I think I’ll put you in your cage on the floor right in front of the big window with the curtains closed.  If you’re noisy or disturb me in some way, I might need to open the curtains to make you keep quiet and still in your nakedness, so that you don’t get noticed from outside the house where they can see directly into this room.

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